Journal 4: Line it up!

1.
The Cows stand
under the trees in
the wet grass, lifting
their necks to pull the leaves
down. We slow the truck,
pull over to the
side of the road to watch them.
How graceful they look, how
unlike themselves. We get out
and lean
on the fence. The cows
don’t seem to notice we are there.

2.
The Cows stand under
the trees in the wet
grass, lifting their necks
to pull the leaves down.
We slow the truck, pull
over to the side
of the road to watch
them. How graceful they
look, how unlike them-
selves. We get out and
lean on the fence. The
cows don’t seem to no-
tice we are there.

3.
The Cows stand under
the trees in
the wet grass, lifting their necks to pull
the leaves down. We slow
the truck, pull over to
the side of the road to watch them. How graceful they look, how unlike themselves. We get out and lean on
the fence.
The cows don’t seem to notice we are there.

Analysis: In the first passage, I chose to separate the lines by the words I felt could create a visual impact to the story of the poem. Such as: ‘under’ in the second line is under the word ‘cows’, or placing ‘side’ at the start of the line to reference the side of the road like the side of the page. The second version I chose to make each line 5 syllables long to alter the pace of the story. The process worked well until the last line had only 4 syllables. I felt that doing this might help to create a better rhythm in the reading, depending on who was reading it. In the third edition, I focused on the word ‘the’ and made it a new line each time it showed up. Doing this showed how repetitive the word was, but also showed how often it was used until the descriptive last three lines.


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